YOWZAS

No, your computer screen is a-ok. There’s no need to adjust your glasses or turn up your Miracle Ear. You did indeed hear correctly, and Fufi and I were married on October 25. It was actually a big surprise, all planned and executed by the Tornado (and very well done, I must say).

We took a private helicopter into the Grand Canyon. Y’all, this should have been a beautiful experience, with me looking out the window in awe at God’s great creation. Riiiight. Rather, I’m clutching Jed’s hand in terror, eyes clinched shut, cringing each time the oh-so-sturdy aircraft dips or lifts. Jesus…Who woulda thought I was such a freakin’ baby? Once again on solid ground, however, I was perfectly fine, and the view was equally spec-tac-u-lar! Dave came to be our witness, and the minister was wonderful. Was short, sweet, and very much to-the-point (the ceremony, not the pastor). The beast, although she couldn’t be there, sent her love and all the necessities (you know the drill…old, new, etcetera, etcetera). It was….truly beautiful. So nice that even I can’t even ruin it with sarcastic and witty observations--sorry to disappoint.

We had champagne afterwards, and took pictures and video, not that any of you (ANY OF YOU) will be allowed to see them as I look rather like an overfed hippie. Flying back into Vegas was much more relaxed than our initial trip, other than having to pee with most distracting severity.

I asked Jed what he would have done had I said no. The answer? “Well, it woulda been a long walk back to Vegas.”