TOP TEN

Sara's Top Ten Symptoms
7 Months Pregnant

1) My concept of the Food Pyramid is: cupcakes, salt, cereal, and tums.
2) Walking down the stairs gives me vertigo because I cannot see my feet. I literally count the steps.
3) I cry if I can’t eat when hungry (or if the brain trust at Zaxby’s forgets
my Italian dressing).
4) I give people waaaay too much information when they ask how I'm doing, just so they’ll leave me alone.
5) Fat jokes, calling me “little mamma”, comments about the size of my belly, asking, “wow, hasn’t that baby come yet?”—all these things are getting really, really tired. No, jackass, does it look like the baby's come out yet? Or, the next time someone asks when am I going to finally have the baby, I'm going to say, "Baby? Oh, no, I swallowed a watermelon seed a while back."
6) Shaving my legs is an aerobic activity. As to the bikini area, uh, yeah, since I don’t have to see it, I’m not worrying about it. I'm sure the teenage lifeguards at the Y have been permanently scarred.
7) I grunt or make this funny moan when I stand up.
8) Rolling over in bed involves first getting up on hands and knees.
9) I've gone five days without pooping—and think nothing of it.
10)I wonder which sweatpants could be considered “dressy.”