Not to be upstaged

Here's my top ten 'observations' of a 7 month father to be.

10. Nine months is way too long to be pregnant. Seven months should be long enough for the little monster to develop. Typical, They can put a man on the moon but they cant make a baby grow faster.

9. My place in the household has been officially downgraded to foot rubbing machine.

8. My wife is not fat, never was, never will be. She is pregnant and has only put weight on her belly and NOWHERE else.

7. I find myself looking at babies all the time. Whenever I see one I just stare at it with a goofy smile on my face.

6. Which reminds me. Where did all these friggin babies come from? It seems that where ever I look there are babies. This was not the case 8 months ago.

5. How am I going to afford this? I read somewhere that the average couple will spend at least $300,000 per child before it reaches 18 years old.....I've got news for you Picard....I'm broke and so's your mum.

4. Love life. What's that then?

3. Babies R Us is an awesome store. nuff said

2. Not only do I not go out on the town with the boys but I don't want to.

1. And the number one observation I have is: All these fathers who look at me gleefully and make comments like "It's your turn now" and "Your life is over buddy" or "Your partying days have come to an end". Well my comment to them is, I partied like a rock star for 25 years before I did this...A-holes