And so the beat goes on...
As you have read in our previous post Sara is going through the wars at the moment and is finding difficulty coping on an emotional level.
But to be truthful she is doing rather a spendid job overall. I think it just a matter of time until she adjust to this new life that we have been blessed with.
Not to belittle what she is going through I would however like to express our absolute joy and wonder at what has happened to us.
It is quite amazing to me how much the captain has changed my life and how everything has changed. Many people said to me before he was born that this would change my life and that his birth would be a defining moment in my life. I would for the most part just nod and say that I agreed with them. But here's the kicker, I truly didn't understand them back then. And this IS the most defining time of my life. The emotional impact was massive. I didn't know....I DIDN"T KNOW!!!
I can honestly say that I really didn't understand what love was until I saw my son's face. Don't get me wrong I have loved before and I loved Sara with all my heart before the captain arrived. But his arrival hightened that love to a degree I didn't realize was possible. And Captain Cole, Wow....I mean Wow... I cant explain and I'm sure I don't have to, to all the parents reading this but to those of you who don't have kids, you guys have no idea what is in store for you. I look at my son's face and I just want to crawl into him, the love is so intense I cant hold it together at times. I truly had never felt joy like I felt on the day he was born.
I love him so much and I love his mother so much more now.
I hope and pray that things will get better for her because although I know that she loves him as much as I do, of that there is no doubt, I wish she could enjoy him as much as I am doing right now.
I love to comfort him and feed him and hold him and change his diaper and sing to him and sleep with him and hear his little breaths when he sleeps and sounds when he is feeding and I even love to hear him cry (but not too long).
My friend Emmett came to the hospital the day after Cole was born and made the comment that I was 'drunk' on him.
And that's exactly what I am.
I'm drunk on him.
And I hope I feel like this for the rest of my life.
Jed
posted by Sara Fraser @ 5:04 PM
1 Comments:
So glad to hear that you're enjoying your beautifuly boy. Sounds like this is what you've been waiting for. Having kids certainly makes you realise just what's important in the grand scheme of things.
All I can say is CHERISH every minute, don't wish his life away, just relax and ENJOY the ride.
So sorry to hear that Sara is feeling the baby blues - all completely normal and natural, which of course won't make her feel any better right now. However, it will pass Sara, just don't expect miracles and don't be counting the days to'normalness'. You will never return to the single carefree girl pre motherhood, but you will get back into a groove that's right for you and you will have a wonderful, albeit, different kind of life. One actually that you will ultimately find much more rewarding.
It's really funny how we read all the baby books and think that we've got it all stitched up - too bad that the babies don't read those same books, eh? And, if you don't 'feel' the way you expected, big deal, makes no difference whatsoever if you love and care for your son. Remember, it's on your terms, you love and cherish your child in your own way - there truly is no right or wrong in that regard.
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